As I have thought about some comments to my last entry I have also thought about my own response to the articles. I believe the twentysomething article spoke to where I have been. While the thirtysomething article resonated with the place I have come to peace with here and now. And it really was the fourtysomething article that helped me see a future and dream instead of a prison sentence.
Last Sunday was the perfect example... I had the privelege of sitting next to a good friend and her 5 year old niece. I don't think I heard anything of the sermon, but I did get to have an ongoing conversation about the many drawings from my little friend. This, however, did not make me long for children of my own, as even I might have assumed. I left the service longing for the day when my nieces and nephews were old enough to sleep over and build forts in the living room with blankets and chairs. Dreaming of the days when I can take them on an adventure with me somewhere. I guess this is all to say that I have come to terms with the fact that I may never personally have kids... but there are so many that God has placed in my family and life that I get to pour into. There is a hope and a future. It may not be the one I had planned in my own little mind... but it may be what God planned... which is infinately better.
This is not to negate the loneliness, longing, or deams of my friends or myself. This is only to give hope of more than perpetual frustration and wondering. And I have to add that I am not always so positive on the topic... I have my days as many of you well know.
7 comments:
My motto is 'suger 'em up and send 'em home' and it's great. Well, I think it's great, I don't know that the parents think it's near as great.
I don't want children. I believe that God has blessed me with the absence of that desire. How many people do we all know that wanted children so badly that they married the wrong man or woman so that they could have those babies. Now they have them but are unhappy. Maybe once I'm in a committed relationship with the man I love that desire will be given to me, until then, it's one less pressure I put on myself, and everyone needs less of that.
Being single has a lot of great aspects, for sure. I went to see Les Mis last night and sobbed like a baby. It was beautiful. Went home late, and crawled into my nice warm bed (thanks to the matress warmer! what a great invention!) and slept like a baby with the bed and covers all to myself all at just the right temperature.
Ahhh, such is the life, somedays I just love it and more content with it than others.
And for me....
not having to be drug along to Les Mis or some other artsy fartsy thing is also a blessing.
I bet you'd go occassionally for the woman you love. I mean, I would watch stupid sports for the man of my dreams.
maybe....but I would let it be known it was a true sacrifice a day or two later
Isn't love all about sacrifice?
I am thinking these comments are so fun..I am the super crazy Mommy to three adorable sons (four if you count my husband :) I like your thoughts Carrie and wanted to add in that it is blast to have a friend like you who doesnt have the overload of children, yet shows a huge interest in the lives of my own as well as so many others. Us insane Mommas need that encouragement and the get away time. Spacing out with friends like you who remind us to relax and take life in is Good stuff.
I'm still waiting for the neices and nephews days, but for now I also am filled to the rim with the joy of being around numerous friend's kids.
I think a bigger thing for me, than the little kid fill up, is having an incredible group of youth girls who are now Juniors in HS that truly feel like my own daughters...okay, maybe more like little sisters. I have no desire at this time to have babies, but am SO blessed by my girls...I know, as a true Eller I will be sobbing at their graduations next year. I can't help it, I LOVE them! They have been knitted into my heart since 8th grade.
Thank you Jesus for fulfilling relationships and creative ways to fulfill those human needs and longings in unique ways! He is GOOD to us!
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